I’m on the edge of the 3m springboard, standing nearly 10 feet above the surface of the water. I’m supposed to jump up, grab my knees, and then rotate backwards to enter the water, hands first, straight up and down. This is a back dive tuck, or 201c. I’ve been practicing it for three weeks, but my coaches have turned on the “bubbler,” which gives a bit of a cushion to hitting the water while you’re learning. This is my first attempt without bubbles.
I coach new divers, kids learning to dive, but there’s something different about being a grown-up learning a new sport. We talk a lot about ‘lead-up skills’ that prepare you for the next skill. We talk about trust in your coach, that they know when you’re ready for the next thing. I trust my coaches but I also know that I’m not invincible. I’m not a superhero. I dislocated my elbow on the trampoline last year doing a skill I’d done for 10 years. Things hurt differently in your 30s. Smacking – what they call it when you hit the water flat on your back or your front – hurts differently in your 30s.
Learning a new sport as a grown-up means being surrounded by kids who can do it better. I don’t know if the 201c terrifies them still, but they can do it with grace and precision. I’m just trying not to die. (Not literally, but it does feel like a possibility…)
I’ve felt the panic for this dive for a while. Whenever I think about it without the bubbler, my heart starts beating faster. My coaches don’t think I need bubbles, but the anxiety in my chest speaks louder than my trust in them. I decide to watch videos – first my own 201c attempts (with bubbles) and then a bunch of videos I find on the internet. I’m learning to visualize the “perfect” dive. I probably spend an hour watching a dive, closing my eyes, and visualizing myself doing the exact same thing.
I warm up with a few dives from the 1m springboard, a few back fall-ins from 3m, and some backwards straight jumps from 3m to help quell the fear. My friends give me a pep talk — my fellow Masters divers are the only reason I can keep conquering my fears. (There is still a team in an individual sport!) I stand on the board, facing backwards. I know the water is there, without looking back, and take a deep breath. I set my arms in a ‘T’, squeeze my abs and my butt, and swing! Touch my knees, kick out near ~60 degrees, reach my arms back, and hold tight for the entry.
I did the dive!! I feel like I’m on top of the whole world. This dive, which has had the upper hand on my fears for weeks, is now something I can do.
What else is possible??
Three days later I compete (!!) 201c from 3m and get the best scores on a dive I’ve gotten in my 6 months of competing. The fear, the anxiety… it’s all worth it for the adrenaline of trying something new.
Diving is such a thrilling sport. I’m so happy I found it! I’m incredibly privileged to dive and coach with iDive Vancouver. To be clear, I’m still afraid of this dive — but the fear has lessened enough for me to attempt it a little more often!